Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer

Disagree
* Different Sex has their advantages
    * Male has more strength
    * Female is more delicate on emotion, patient, gentle
* Uni is dedicate on educating people, ranther than discriminate by sex.
    * Fixed sex proportion may doesn't match the optimal capability proportion.
    * 

There is some opinion says that university should keep equal proportion on student's sex in every subject. Well, it may sound like a viable sex equality approach at first glimpse, but indeed it harbours the most unfair consequences, I totally don't agree with that.

Mandatory policy is a method to resist unfair power or circumscribe from detrimental humanity like greedy, its aim is to facilitate learning progress of broad students. But depends on the circumstance it's applying, this behavior can result to huge discrepancy to optimal effect. For example, for the subjects like national defense, it requires painstaking physical training and iron like perseverance. Female of course can qualify the requirement of national defence after certain training, but due to the natual advantage of body function, male is stronger in strength than female, they can be the optimal cost-efficient candidate. In other realms, like nursing or educating, female are wildly deemed a better choice compare to male due to their natual gentle, delicate, and compassionate personality. In these subjects, weak strength can really become a advantage.

Judge whether or not keep equal sex proportion is beneficial largely rely on the motive behind this action. If one of the sex group was in an unfair way discriminated in a subject, force keeping equal sex proportion in students will be a wisdom decision. For example, in some society with serious caste regulations in which females are suppressed, like ancient China, almost all the female are not allowed to touch knowledge, forcing equal sex proportion can bring equality and freedom to females, unleash the suppressed productivity of women, and foster the civilization progress of the entire society.

Overall, enforcing equal sex proportion in students largely depends on the environment like what subject is and what society it's running on. But for most subjects that doesn't be affected by sex or caste, the best way is let it go, follow the willingness of students.

Examiner

Task Response (TR)

The student's response addresses the topic and provides a clear opinion against enforcing equal gender representation in every subject. They provide examples to support their argument, such as the physical requirements of national defense and the compassionate nature required in nursing. However, the essay could benefit from further development of ideas and more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument. The conclusion reiterates the opinion but could be more clearly connected to the rest of the essay.

Score: 6

Coherence and Cohesion (CC)

The essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transition words and phrases are used, but the connections between some sentences and ideas could be smoother. The flow of the essay is somewhat disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between some points.

Score: 5

Lexical Resource (LR)

The student uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as "mandatory policy," "optimal effect," and "unleash the suppressed productivity." However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., "painstaking physical training," "natual advantage of body function"). Additionally, there is repetition of certain phrases, and some vocabulary could be more precise.

Score: 5

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA)

The essay contains various grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms (e.g., "it may sounds like"), subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., "force to keep equal sex proportion"), and awkward sentence structures (e.g., "Female of course can qualify the requirement of national defence after certain training"). Despite these errors, the student attempts complex sentence structures and uses a variety of grammatical forms.

Score: 4

Final Score

Overall Score: 5.0

The essay shows a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear opinion. However, improvements in idea development, coherence, vocabulary precision, and grammatical accuracy are needed to achieve a higher score.

Examiner Rework

Certainly! I'll provide specific examples of how to improve the student's response in each aspect: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Task Response (TR)

Original: There is some opinion says that university should keep equal proportion on student's sex in every subject. Well, it may sounds like a viable sex equality approach at first glimpse, but indeed it harbours the most unfair consequences, I totally don't agree with that.

Improved: Some people believe that universities should maintain an equal proportion of male and female students in every subject. At first glance, this may seem like a viable approach to achieving gender equality, but it actually leads to significant unfairness. I completely disagree with this notion.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC)

Original: Mandatory policy is a method to resist unfair power or circumscribe from detrimental humanity like greedy, its aim is to facilitate learning progress of broad students. But depends on the circumstance it's applying, this behavior can result to huge discrepancy to optimal effect.

Improved: Mandatory policies are often implemented to resist unfair practices or protect against harmful behaviors, such as greed, and to facilitate the learning progress of a wide range of students. However, depending on the circumstances in which these policies are applied, they can lead to significant discrepancies from the optimal outcomes.

Lexical Resource (LR)

Original: Female of course can qualify the requirement of national defence after certain training, but due to the natual advantage of body function, male is stronger in strength than female, they can be the optimal cost-efficient candidate.

Improved: Women can certainly meet the requirements of national defense with appropriate training, but due to natural physical advantages, men tend to have greater strength. Therefore, they might be the more cost-effective candidates for such roles.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA)

Original: Judge whether or not keep equal sex proportion is beneficial largely rely on the motive behind this action. If one of the sex group was in an unfair way discriminated in a subject, force to keep equal sex proportion in students will be a wisdom decision.

Improved: Deciding whether or not to maintain equal gender proportions depends largely on the motives behind the action. If one gender group has been unfairly discriminated against in a particular subject, enforcing equal gender proportions among students would be a wise decision.

Complete Improved Answer

Some people believe that universities should maintain an equal proportion of male and female students in every subject. At first glance, this may seem like a viable approach to achieving gender equality, but it actually leads to significant unfairness. I completely disagree with this notion.

Mandatory policies are often implemented to resist unfair practices or protect against harmful behaviors, such as greed, and to facilitate the learning progress of a wide range of students. However, depending on the circumstances in which these policies are applied, they can lead to significant discrepancies from the optimal outcomes. For example, in subjects like national defense, which require rigorous physical training and immense perseverance, men generally have a natural physical advantage. While women can certainly meet these requirements with the right training, men might be more cost-effective candidates due to their inherent strength. Conversely, in fields like nursing or education, women are often seen as more suitable due to their gentle, delicate, and compassionate nature, which can be advantageous in these professions.

Deciding whether or not to maintain equal gender proportions depends largely on the motives behind the action. If one gender group has been unfairly discriminated against in a particular subject, enforcing equal gender proportions among students would be a wise decision. For example, in societies with strict caste regulations where women have been historically suppressed, like ancient China, enforcing equal gender proportions can promote equality and freedom for women, unleash their suppressed productivity, and contribute to the overall progress of civilization.

Overall, the decision to enforce equal gender proportions among students should depend on the specific subject and societal context. For most subjects that are not significantly affected by gender or caste considerations, it is best to allow students to choose freely based on their interests and abilities.

New Scores

• Task Response (TR): 7 – The response addresses the topic effectively, presents a clear opinion, and provides well-developed ideas and examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6 – The essay has a logical structure with improved transitions and clearer connections between ideas.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7 – The vocabulary is more precise and varied, with fewer errors in word choice and collocation.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6 – The grammatical structures are more accurate and complex, though some minor errors may remain.

Overall Score: 6.5